Self-Reflection: I looked in the mirror today

Photo by Zach Schwartz

Photo by Zach Schwartz

By Kiera Smalls 

I looked in the mirror today and was not pleased with what I saw. Before you jump to conclusions about what you think I'm talking about, keep reading to learn more. 

It wasn't just physical appearance that caught my attention, it was how my decisions over the past couple of months have raised some concerns. Lately, I've been half-assing my workouts, relationships, and controlling my emotions. It's a lot to manage and instead of acknowledging my shortcomings, I just try to avoid them or fill my mind (and mouth) with nonsense.  

You see, we can't have it all like Ryan Pierce would say in the movie Girls Trip. It takes a good look in the mirror to force yourself to slow down and begin to recognize that something is off. When I looked in the mirror, I didn't just see a person and her physical features, I saw someone who is tired yet energized, hopeful but sometimes disappointed, open and closed. I saw someone who is trying to live her best life, whatever that means.

As humans, we are made up of very complex traits. I wasn't pleased with what I saw because I struggle with consistency and it's frustrating. It's a gift and curse. I want to always focus on self-improvement but maybe there’s nothing wrong with me. Maybe I am exactly where I need to be and who I need to be.

The mirror tells us what we truly need to see and as we grow through life, I want to be better at embracing what I see in the mirror. You know? Be comfortable with change and uncertainty, be okay with not being okay, and live my best life (whatever that means when the moment is right). 

Do you ever have these thoughts? I know I'm not alone.